Ramblings of an enchantress…

Things can never be better!

And I can’t lie more than I just have…

What a way to start the new year!(A love triangle?) Getting attention from someone I’m not interested in, and almost none from where I want it from. Am I wasting my time? Please tell me. I’m actually beginning to feel neglected. I’m thinking the worst already and if I don’t see or hear otherwise, I will move on and away. I can’t wait forever. Guess that’s why I liked the attention so much. But I don’t believe the person I’m getting attention from anyway. Hahaha. Funny, but full of crap. He wants to see me again, he will but I hope he doesn’t get his hopes up too high.

I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want another lover at my door
It’s just another heartache on my list
I don’t wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don’t wanna be lonely anymore

I love Rob Thomas.

this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burned me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I’ve seen it all and it’s never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away
take me away
I’ve got nothing left to say
just take me away
I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don’t know what else I can do
I’ve seen it all and it’s never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away
take me away
I’ve got nothing left to say
just take me away
don’t give up on me yet
don’t forget who I am
I know I’m not there yet
but don’t let me stay here alone
this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
I’ve seen it all and it’s never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away
take me away
I’ve got nothing left to say
just take me away
take me away
take me away
I’ve got nothing left to say
just take me away

Damn nice song by Lifehouse. I haven’t posted an entry in awhile. If you want to read more recent things that I’ve posted, you can go to http://aetherdiamone.multiply.com.

Merry Christmas to one and all. Hope you had a great one! Take care all.

"I love you.
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you so much I wanna shout it out to the whole world!"

I love it when you first held my hand
I love it when you first wrapped your arms around me
I love it when your lips first touched mine
I love it when you look at me and smile or laugh at something stupid I said
I love it when you’re near me
I love it when we went to Taka to use up vouchers you got on internship here
I love it when you bought me my favourite perfume
I love it when you’d insist I wake you up after my work just so you could meet me and stuff me with food!
I love it when we went to Raman’s house and just chilled
I love it when we went clubbing together and you’d get that look on your face when you heard a song you liked. The look that said "Wicked!"
I love how you actually walked into a hip hop club coz it was my birthday.You actually danced with me and even consented to taking photos! And you hate doing both!
I love how you were so patient with me even though you were getting so pissed off that I wasn’t saying anything.
I love how you were so gentle and held me after you realised that the reason I wasn’t saying anything was coz I was so sad and on the verge of crying.
I love how you have been the only one I let console me when I cry.
I love how you have taught me so much about so many things.
I love how you’re the perfectionist and get so pissed off when you missed a question in the exam, you still managed to ace every one of them, getting over 90 every time.
I love how you sms me even though you’re halfway around the world just to ask me how I am and whether I’ve eaten.
I love how you’d buy phone cards just to call me and hear my voice.I’d be so happy just hearing yours!
I love how you can still put up with me.
I love how you tell me you still miss me and I can tell you the same thing.
I love how we stayed in your house when you’re parents were gone for a few days.
I love how you cooked for me during that time.
I love how you distracted me, when I was trying to wake you up for work, by cuddling.
I love how those were the best 3 days of my life.
I love how you took such good care of me
I love how you don’t have a single pair of jeans or one t-shirt
I love how you found a job and got a car. Hope you’re happy.
I love how you love to DJ even then.
I love how you bought me a bouquet of roses. You’re the first and the last thus far.
I love how you are the only one I did touristy stuff with, like visit the arts museum and the night safari!
I love how you act and think so much older than your age
I love how you get along so well with people twice your age
I love how you still sms me when you feel like it.
I love how you wanted to break up with me before you left, but I was too stubborn.
I love how you understood when I broke up with you when you’re parents left S’pore for good.
I love how you came to my house for christmas and put up with my family.You even brought a bottle of wine, which is probably still around the house somewhere.
I love how you got me to go back to school and stop being such a lazy bum
I love how well we fit when I hug you.
I love how you speak.
I love how you couldn’t stand to see me cry.
I love how we always manage to settle things after a fight.
I love how I had to meet you after clubbing coz you were angry with me for being such a doo-doo-head.
I love how you and Raman talk to each other, your passion for music was amazing
I love how we first met, I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I was
I love how we sneak in or out of each others houses to be with each other
I love how you’d point out everything or everyone from New York. Telling me to meet you there.
I love how you’d tell me of the places you’d want to bring me in New York
I love how you wanted me to go to Boston with you and just be there. You said you’d take care of me.
I love how we came up of this hare-brained scheme of telling your dad you were kidnapped so we could get money and run away together and be happy.
I love how I still love you in my own way. And it’s almost a year since I last saw you.

Maybe it was doomed from the start. But If I never went for it, I’d never have all these wonderful memories. And a random message from halfway across the world, with a 12 hr difference, once in awhile saying "miss you".

But you had to go back to study and get a job and live your life. I miss you too my intense young man. I wouldn’t be who I am now if you hadn’t walked into my life wearing your sunglasses, earphones, long sleeve button down shirt, slacks and dress shoes.

Gone are those days.

Adieu, mon amour.

Something I wrote quite awhile ago. Part of it anyways.

Empty,
I try to be,
So nothing in life can hurt me.
But it’s so hard,
When i feel so much,
And have no outlet for it all.
I tell no one.
I just say nothing.
But it just overwhelms me sometimes,
The emotions are too much too bear.
And this is when
I write these lines
That say so much.
And to some people,
Nothing at all.
Laughing,
Is how ppl see me.
Smiling,
Is how they regard me.
Happy,
Is what i’m supposed to be.
Right??
Fun is what my life is
Isn’t it??
I don’t know anymore
But then again i’ve never known
Anything.
At all..

It fits..
Only too well.

Why don’t you realize?
Why can’t you see?
That the one you love is not really me?

I played a part
I played a role
And you didn’t see into my soul.

There were lies
There was deceit
Now don’t stand up, please take a seat.

It really hurts
It is real pain
Don’t try to hide it, it’ll be in vain.

You felt love
You felt such care
Now what was, has vanished into thin air.

Feeling lost
Feeling confused
You begin to realize, you have been used.

Wipe off those tears
Wipe off that dust
You have been fooled, by the lady behind the mask.

Feeling down again. But I’ll get over it like I normally do. Was in the kitchen making some bee hoon hot in the microwave. After it was done I was distracted by my parents asking me questions. I picked up the plate of bee hoon, saw that I left my bag on the counter. So I put the plate down next to the bag, so I could pick up the bag then the plate. But the bag managed to knock the plate towards me, so I tried my best to stop it from falling. Effectively getting bee hoon on myself. And by bee hoon, I mean hor fun style bee hoon with the gravy and everything. So my mum’s standing on the stairs, having heard the plate falling and me screaming. And she asks me what did you do now? instead of the are you okay? that’ll normally come out of a parents mouth. Then I had to ask for help. My dad heard everything but was too busy watching WWE.

Now if that doesn’t continue to bring you down when you’ve been getting this nagging feeling that you don’t have someone who really listens to you and who’s really there for you even when you don’t need them, nothing will.

Explaining the last extremely long sentence, you’ll have to know that I’ve been noticing this feeling of being alone in a crowded room. Feeling like an outcast in almost everything. No one who’s really close to me. But I have people to whom I listen. They tell me their problems and I help the best I can. There’s no one like that for me. I hope I don’t hurt anyone by saying all this. I guess it’s just how I feel.

And don’t you worry your little head over me. You don’t have to tell me that you’re there for me and stuff. You don’t have to tell me that I can talk to you whenever you want. I don’t want that. I want to feel it. But you don’t have to do one little thing at all. I’ll bounce back, used to it.

He’s crazy about me
He tells me he loves me
Very much
It’s not enough!

He calls me every day
He messages me every day
It’s not enough!

He finds smart things to say to me
He makes funny jokes
He amuses me and tries to be like me
It’s not enough!

He starts using my words
He laughs at all my jokes
He hangs on my every word
It’s not enough!

He wants to know all about me
He tries to understand me
To find out how I work
It’s not enough!

He’s sweet to me
He’s polite
He’s the kinda guy that doesn’t mind if his spouse doesn’t work
It’s not enough!

He’s kinda cute
He’s not fat
He’s quite cute
It’s not enough!

He can dance
To hip hop
It’s not enough!

He thinks I’m beautiful
He thinks I’m gorgeous
He thinks I’m a great dancer
It’s not enough!

He thinks I’m cute
He thinks I’m smart
He thinks I’m wacky
It’s not enough!

He cares enough to chase me home
He wants to be with me
All the time
It’s not enough!

It’s not enough
Because I need someone
Who makes me think they’re cute,smart and wacky.
I need someone who makes me feel
Like being with them all the time.
I need someone who makes me think
They’re gorgeous and beautiful.
I need someone who makes me hang on
Their every word and laugh to all their jokes.
I need someone who can steal my heart, mind and senses!
Who’ll make me love him so much it hurts!
Who’ll intrigue me so much I can’t stop thinking about him!
Who’ll make me just want to stare at him for hours!
I don’t want it to be this way………..But I need it to be this way so badly!

I am Olivia’s peeved sense of dissatisfaction.

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?

Of course you have.

Just like me, I’m sure you’ve had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

What’s going on here?

It’s actually very simple…

Women don’t base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn’t make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn’t make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, and it’s hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you’ll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

My friend wrote this on his journal and yes.. sad to say but it’s true..I’ve so been there before and I also dunno why.. For instance I have nice and sweet guys here like Arul and Kamal but here I am attracted to Ash..I can’t help it..BleaH..Very ODD.